Friday, August 9, 2013

In the Silence

So ...some days are just harder to hear the Lord than others...and it is usually because of all of the other noise around me.  
At our Sportsman's Banquet last night the speaker talked of the quiet of the woods when you are up early and out by yourself sitting in a tree, watching the creation of the Lord come to life in the forest.  That is the kind of time that you can listen to the Lord and try to hear what it is He is trying to tell you.  
Sometimes...no matter how quiet I get...no matter how much I get in the Word...no matter how prayerful I am...I hear nothing.  But that does not make me doubt that the Lord is there.  When I hear nothing, I really, really wish I would be hearing something...but I don't doubt that He is with me.  He walks with me through everything...sometimes He speaks to me and sometimes He doesn't. 
When I think of the best earthly relationship I have, and I think about how that relationship works...sometimes we talk, sometimes we are just in the same room.  Sometimes we discuss things, sometimes we just get information from each other and move quickly about life.  But I always know that this friend has my back.  This friend is on my side and will be honest with me, will tell me if I need to look again at my own behavior or if I am justified in feeling the way I do.  This friend will also always point me to the Lord and what is His will to do in situations.  I appreciate this friend sooooooo much!  
So I think of my relationship to Jesus...sometimes the quiet is okay.  Sometimes the things I am going through are so hard that my earthly friend just doesn't know what to say and that is okay.  My friends just sits there with me.  
This earth and its scenarios are not the grand finale.  It is the training ground.  It is the battleground.  It is the temporary housing.  What I go through here is meant not to harm me, but for my good...because God is on my side.  He wants my good.  Now how I see my good and how He sees my good may be different.  But I fully trust Him.  Sometimes I want to hear His voice, and He is quiet.  Other times I want to hear His voice and I hear Him speak...and I don't like what I hear...so I think , maybe that wasn't Him.  Still other times I hear Him speak and I know it was Him and even if He says something that I wish He hadn't about something I am going through, I know I can always trust Him.  
A dear friend of mine, Gina, shared with me a time when she was going through a difficult time and the Lord spoke some firm words to her.  I will not write all that she shared with me, but part of it stuck with me and I know it will continue to help me through hard times.  This is that part:  "After all I (Jesus) did for you and you can't go through this with me beside you?"
I have to keep my focus.  Yes, I get anxious.  Yes, I get scared.  Yes, I get upset.  But when I keep my focus on Jesus, He takes the anxiety and the fear and the anger away, and points me to the fact that I have a task here.  It maybe difficult but it is not anywhere near as difficult as what He faced when He went to the cross for me.  When He died for me. 
So sometimes...like today...I hear God in His silence. 


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