FLOAT

One moment at a time...a day passes...a month passes...a year passes.  The first hard moment that seemed impossible to get through seems so distant.  Yet years later all it takes is one tiny trigger...a smell of a hospital room, a childhood photo, words in a sequence, a snippet of a song...and all the emotions come again.  The feelings fill up the heart, the mind, the eyes...and once more you live through that gut-wrenching hard time again.

It can take you by surprise like a summer storm unleashing torrents of rain that cause floods where normally there is stable ground.

During this time I have struggled with fear, loneliness, loss of stability.  I have thought that I am "weak" because of these "flash floods" of emotion.  So I have done what I thought necessary to prevent weakness in the dam that holds me together.  I have piled up sandbags full of whatever I think will keep at bay what threatens to break through.  Sandbags of busyness, sandbags of empty activities, sandbags of surface conversations.  Anything to stay protected.

I am learning that the strength of difficult life experiences is far greater than anything I can try to use to build a fortress.  There is nothing I can do.

I've spent a lifetime trying to figure life out.  I can't do it.

Then the dam breaks (and it does) and when the floodwaters come (and they do) I can only do one thing-float.  Float in the peace God gives.

That's what the survivalist books tell you to do if you are in over your head and you can't swim...float.  You take a deep breath, put your face in the water and relax(huh? equally scary), and float until you need another breath.  Then you push up, take another big breath, and float some more...till you are rescued, till you see land, till you find a boat, till you learn to swim.

So as this unsettled life whirls around me I will remember to FLOAT in peace knowing God controls the waters and knowing He can keep me afloat.  I don't have to try to stop the dam from breaking.  I don't have to try to protect against the flood.  I don't have to struggle in the waters of life.

Jehovah God who made the ark float...can hold me.

Jehovah God who caused an iron ax head to float in the Jordan River...can support me. (2 Kings 6:6)

Jesus Christ-Son of God who gave Peter the capability to walk on the seething seas...can give me what I need to walk on.

Jesus who took the hand of Peter (when his faith was small) and pulled him up out of the sea...

can pull me up into His loving presence as well.

I may not be walking on dry land every day; on ground that is stable, while God holds the waters apart and makes a path through them.  I may be floating...just barely surviving but I can:

F-Fill

L-Life (to)

O-Overflowing (with)

A-Abundant

T-Thanksgiving (today).

I can float.

I can :

F-Face

L-Life (as an)

O-Overcomer,

A-Always

T-Trusting (in Jesus)

I can float.

I can:

F-Forgive,

L-Love,

O-Obey (the)

A-Almighty God (in)

T-Truth.

I can float.

I can:

F-Follow (the)

L-Lord,

O-Offering

A-All

T-Thanks

I can float.

Isaiah 43:1-2

"...Thus says the Lord...'Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  I have called you by your name; You are Mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.  And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you..."

-PJM